Well, that was a rollercoaster!
After my last post, we were under the impression that our IUI was cancelled for this cycle due to weather issues, so we went ahead and had sex early afternoon to give it an old fashioned try. Why not?
And then we got a phone call from the nurse on call at nearly 6pm. They had made the decision to open the clinic at regular time the next day, and the doctor had said that he would fit us in first thing - my husband was supposed to be there at 8am to give his sample, and I was expected there an hour later for the procedure.
Uh.... okay..... um.... but... we just.... there's going to be about a 20 hour abstinence period, not the 48 hours they request as a minimum. Is it... um... okay! Yes, we will be there!
My conflicted emotions were all over the place all over again. But excitement! And hope! I'll take it! If that money only buys me a little hope for a little while, then it's worth it.
So with still frosty weather, we got on the road at 6am for the drive, which is usually around 1 hour 40 minutes. Because my husband had to return straight to work after his part was complete, so we were caravaning. I could have, of course, slept in an extra hour (and boy, since I've given up caffeine, that would have been nice) but I thought with the weather as a consideration, I'd just go at the same time for moral support.
An hour into our drive, my husband calls me. He was following a navigation app on his phone, and it was telling him that the bridge that is our most direct route was closed due to ice. The detour would take a half hour.
We got there only a few minutes late (we drive fast, what can I say?) and they got my husband in right away. It took him a little longer than usual, most likely because it had been such a short time of abstinence. It also could have partly been the pressure of delivering a sample that counted, a sample that would be used for the IUI to hopefully make us the baby we've wanted for a very long time now. He warned me that there wasn't much of a sample.
I didn't go anywhere after my husband left to go back to work, I just sat in the waiting room. It wasn't until 9:40am that they called me in since my husband had left about an hour earlier. In the meantime, every time a patient or nurse came out the door, I jolted in anticipation. I was a bundle of nerves, just excited and anxious to get this party started, and to see how my husband's count worked out.
Sure enough, his sample was smaller than previous samples. Thankfully, his great count and motility continued from his previous sperm analysis, so even the small volume was plenty for an IUI. It was all a very fast blur - I had already been told that they had moved all of Wednesday's appointments to Thursday because of the weather-related closing, so I'm sure the staff was in a rush to see everyone. The nurse ushered me to a room, quickly brought in the sample and had me confirm our names were on it as she held it. I twisted my head hard sideways to see the names. I saw my name, and I saw my husband's handwritten initials, so I confirmed. We had 8 million motile swimmers from my husband's sample.
She told me to get undressed from the waist down, sit on the table and lay the paper sheet over my lap. She left the room for a minute for me to do so, and promptly came back with the doctor. He chatted with me as he inserted the speculum to keep nerves down, describing what he was doing but also talking about the weather and the bridges that were closed, presumably as a distraction. I felt the quick pinch of the catheter before he told me that he had inserted it, and that he was injecting the sperm. It felt warm and full. It was like I suddenly had a full bladder, but it wasn't my bladder and I didn't have to pee, obviously. And then it was done, and he removed the catheter and speculum quickly. It was probably less than 10 seconds that were uncomfortable, and no moment was truly painful. Just... odd feeling.
And just as quickly, the doctor and nurse were gone. Before he left, he told me, "No do's, and no don'ts. Just relax these next two weeks, eat healthy. You've got about a 10-15% chance of pregnancy from this cycle." I was told to lay flat for 10 minutes and relax, and the nurse set an egg timer for me. Altogether, they were probably in the room less than 5 minutes.
When the timer went off, I got dressed and left, paying my $625 on the way out. The drive home took a long time with the bridge still closed. I left around 10:15am and did not get home until after 1pm.
So... I now have had an IUI! Unmedicated, so my chances aren't fabulous, but it's something. And I'm feeling optimistic for the first time in a long time.
Today I'm feeling slightly crampy and still a little "full". It's more of a dull ache than cramps.
They gave me paperwork that said I should test on February 13th. I giggled - there's no way I have that kind of patience. I'll probably start testing around 8 dpiui (days past IUI) every other day. So once on 8 dpiui, 10 dpiui, 12 dpiui, and 14 dpiui, at which point my period should start.
The nurse has already ordered my meds for next cycle. That's sobering enough to keep my hopes down, but it's odd - I'm simultaneously hopeful for this cycle, and yet not imagining it ending in a pregnancy. I expect that I will have more treatment cycles (and statistically, I should be prepared for that). As hopeful as I am, I will still be very surprised if I end up pregnant from this. I don't expect it at all, though I do dare to hope! And hope is good. Hope feels good for my soul. It's good to be optimistic again.
My husband pressed his hand on my lower belly tonight when he leaned over to kiss me. And I asked him not to press too hard there (over cautious or superstitious, I suppose). He smiled and lightly rubbed his hand over my belly and said, "Soon I will be rubbing your belly all the time." We had a sweet moment, we kissed and just held onto each other. Tears tugged at the corners of my eyes, and my heart swelled.
It feels so good to hope again.
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