I want you to know how hard I am working so that we can have you in our arms rather than our dreams. We love you, even before you exist.
Today, your father nervously asked for instructions on how exactly he should jab me with a needle. That needle contained medication that will hopefully help my eggs grow. We both hope every day that you're in one of those eggs, and that we'll time everything right so that the egg that will someday become you has the best possible chance to become the baby we've hoped for and dreamed of for so long.
Your father was so brave! He did not want to hurt me, so he asked several times how to do it correctly. He first practiced with a normal pen the motion of jabbing me in the belly as I pinched the spot where he was aiming, to the lower left of my belly button.
I had already set the vial of medication into the pen that is used for injections, attached a needle, and removed the cover and handed it to your father. Then I swiped the area with alcohol and pinched the spot where he'd be aiming. He didn't hesitate, though he was clearly nervous. He jabbed the spot and held, like I had told him. Then he depressed the button so the magic medicine slid into the right spot as he held the needle still.
"Okay, now we count to 5," I told him.
"Okay, now we count to 5," I told him.
"One... two... three... four... five.........six!" and he pulled it out. It came out at a bit of an angle, so it scratched my skin slightly.
He felt so bad that he had scratched me! I tried to wipe it away with the alcohol wipe, but it bled just a little bit more. Not a big deal, but I didn't want to stain my clothes, so he ran to get a bandage.
"Did that hurt?" he asked nervously as he kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry I scratched you! I'll do better tomorrow."
He was so proud that he had done it, and I must tell you that it made him happy to feel like he's part of this process. We're both working so hard so that we can have you. He loves me so much that he didn't want to hurt me - but he also loves you, even though we haven't met you yet, and that is why he gives me the shots.
We're both so hopeful! We have hoped and wished for you for 18 long months now, but now we have doctors and medicine to help us get a little bit more likely to meet you sooner rather than later.
"I feel a warm sensation down near my ovaries," I told him as we sat down for dinner after taking the shot an hour earlier.
"Really?" he asked enthusiastically. "It's doing magic!"
We're hoping for magic. We're hoping for you every day. You are so very much wanted and wished for and loved.
We've loved you since before you existed. We just need a little magic to create you!
Love,
Your Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment